Parental Separation and its Effect
on Human Development
Alex, the second child of Ernest
and Isabel Palacio, a Cuban American couple, is a fourth grader at J.E. Kennedy
Elementary School. He has one older sister, Paula who is in fifth grade, and a
younger brother, Thomas, who is 4 years old. Until recently, Alex appeared to
be a happy child and a good student in school. Although somewhat reserved, he
interacted will with peers, was athletic, and was popular among his classmates.
During the year Alex was in third
grade, the Palacios’ marriage was seriously affected by Ernest’s close
relationship with a female coworker. Despite an attempt at counseling, the
couple could not resolve their differences. During the summer before his
fourth-grade year, Alex’s parent separated. The children continued to live with
their mother but maintained a relationship with their father, seeing him every
weekend in the apartment he rented nearby.
Both parents tried hard to make
this arrangement work for the sake of their children, to whom both were
devoted. The fourth-grade school year began fairly smoothly and for Alex, who
was happy to see his friends again after the summer vacation. His teacher, Mr.
Williams, was regarded as tough but usually fair, and Alex seemed to make a
good initial adjustment to his class. Ernest continued his employment with an
advertising agency and paid for many of the family’s living costs. However the
expense of maintaining two residences quickly became burdensome. Isabel,
formerly employed as a part-time library aide, needed to find a position that
provided a large income. She began a job as a secretary shortly after the
children began school in September.
In December, Isabel fell ill and
needed to be hospitalized. Primary care of the children fell to Isabel’s
mother, the children’s grandmother. Ernest took over as much of the caretaking
as his work schedule would permit, but he feared that if he took off too much
time for family responsibilities, his job was be in jeopardy. Because of these
change in the family, all three children needed to adjust. It became much more
difficult for an adult to transport the children after school to music lessons
and game, so they had to drop out of some of their activities. As Isabel
recuperated, she needed much more rest and general peace and quiet. She could
not longer take the children on trips or allow groups of her children’s friends
to have sleepovers in her home.
Toward the middle of his
fourth-grade year, Alex’s grades started to slip, and he began to act up. Alex
grew apathetic and sullen in class. Mr. Williams was a relatively young teacher
in the school district. His first 2 years of teaching had been spent in the
eighth grade of the district middle school. He liked teaching older students
and reluctantly accepted the fourth-grade position because of his lack of
seniority in the system. Mr. Williams, despite his youth, was a fairly
traditional teacher. He believed in giving lots of homework and in placing high
expectations for performance on his students. He ran a very disciplined
classroom that was based on a system of winning and losing points for behavior.
Because Alex did not participate actively in classroom exercise or turn in
homework, he continually “lost points”.
On one particular difficult day,
Alex and one of his friends got into an argument. Alex accused his friend of
picking on him and teasing him in the lunchroom. Mr. Williams tried to
intervene by taking both boys out into the hallway and listening to each
version of the problem. When the disagreement got louder, Mr. Williams told
both boys that they would “just have to work it out.” He told them he
would take away points and was sending them both to the principal’s office.
Alex became very agitated and said to his teacher, “sometimes I feel like
throwing my chair at you.”
Mr. Williams began to see Alex as
a threat and recommended to the principal that the incident be handled as a
disciplinary matter. It was the teacher’s belief that Alex should he suspended
and then referred for special education evaluation by the school psychologist
because of his “aggressiveness.” He insisted that Alex not be
returned to his classroom.
Questions
(1) How would you assess the
problem?
(2) What are the different
perspectives involved in this conflict?
(3) What actions would you take
and what recommendations would you make as a counselor in this situation?
