Couples living together can find it difficult to separate if they want to end their relationship. The situation becomes even more problematic if children are involved. The purpose of this activity is to apply correctly the key concepts, principles, and suggestions from Chapter 11 to the case study.
Read the following case study and the instructions that follow it.
“My wife and I have been married for 10 years and have two children who are now 10 and 13. I found out a year ago that my wife was having an affair and lying to me about it for the previous three years. We tried counseling for a while, but it didn’t help much. We decided to get a divorce, but our state requires that we wait a year. Meanwhile, my wife is now living with the other guy in his home and is making it difficult for me to see our kids. We have recently found out that someone has signed with the realtor to buy our house. So now we have to do something with the money from the sale of the house and our possessions, and I have to find another place to live. We have a lot of good furniture and many items that are of value to one or the other of us. She also took our dog with her because she says the kids want to keep it, but we all love her. Because my wife works only part -time and I have a full-time job, she also wants me to continue making her car payments and insurance, but she left with the most expensive car when she moved out, leaving me with a clunker. Our lawyer had us sign some paperwork that covered her expenses, but I have been having trouble paying them. I need money to live on, too, and there is a lot of traveling I’d like to do and places I want to see.
In any case, we both agreed to share the same divorce attorney, but started fighting over money from the sale of the house, child support/custody, and my wife’s expenses. She always buys expensive things and wants the best and expects me to pay for it, which I don’t think is fair to me. Our attorney then consulted with the family court judge about our having our divorce settled in court, and the judge told him that we could try mediation as an alternative to going to court. She said we had to do it voluntarily but that it would be much less expensive and faster because she has a backlog of cases pending right now. She said we could have the court appoint a certified state trained mediator, or we could choose someone else who is either a trained mediator or a lawyer. I don’t know whether to go to mediation now or go to court much later. If we mediate, I also don’t know whether we should have our lawyer try to be the mediator or the court appoint a certified mediator. Our lawyer says he would be happy to do it but admits that he was never trained in mediation, and the attorney said that he knew my wife before we were married.“
For this discussion, please engage in the following:
- Read the case study
- Jot down what concepts you read in Chapter 11 that might apply to this scenario
- Is mediation appropriate in this case? If so, why? If not, why not?
- How might it be preferable to a court settlement?
- Can mediation also serve the interests of the children in a divorce case? If so, why? If not, why not?
- What might the mediator say to the couple in her/his opening statement?
- How might s/he best facilitate mediation for the couple in the case study?
- Who should mediate? If it is a court appointed person, should s/he allow the lawyer to participate?
- Define what the concept(s) is that fits this case
- State what behaviors you see happening that substantiate why you chose the concepts you have identified
- Write a 250-300 word post where you put together #2 and #3; this post should be in narrative form
- Include references to the textbook in your post; use the APA style guide
- Make sure to proofread for grammar
